Since the early 2000’s, Disney has based a few of their films on their popular rides/attractions. The first attraction to become a feature film was The Country Bears and it flopped hard. So to make it up they decided two of their most popular rides in the parks were going to get a feature film. Pirates of the Caribbean was the first ride to obtain a feature film and not only did the film do very well with critics and the box office, but it gained back triple its budget and was also nominated for 5 Academy Awards. And of course it would later become a huge franchise for the company. Now with Pirates of the Caribbean’s success you would think this other huge popular ride would also make a huge splash in the cinema world. Haunted Mansion was the other ride chosen to be based on a feature film and well I wouldn’t be typing up this review if I thought it was a success. It did pretty well in the box office but I mean you can thank the Disney name and Pirates for its box office success. But while the Haunted Mansion might be one of if not the most popular ride in Disneyland/ Disney World, the movie itself might be the most hated Disney film in the modern era and possibly of all time. Not only that but it was a big middle finger to the original ride that it was being based off of. Now this leads me to wonder: how did Disney fail at bringing their most popular ride to life on the big screen? Let’s get onto this review and get on line for this ride and let me welcome you foolish mortals and let’s see why Disney’s The Haunted Mansion is a Complete Joke.
*SPOILER WARNING AHEAD*
Now I’m not going to lie as a kid this movie used to scare me a bit but I also really liked it because I didn’t know any better. Now if you do enjoy this movie and think its very good then I will not judge you on your opinion. I still watch this movie every October because it is a Halloween type of film but while I find entertainment from it, or at least some type of entertainment from it, I know that this film is bad.
The Haunted Mansion was directed by Rob Minkoff and if you are a huge Disney fan then that name should ring a bell. Minkoff was an animator for films like The Black Cauldron, The Great Mouse Detective, The Brave Little Toaster and The Little Mermaid. He also worked on the script for Beauty and the Beast and co-directed a little movie called THE LION KING; you know Disney’s most top tier film of all time. Now I can’t fully blame Minkoff for the reason this film was bad as we can also blame the writers, people involved with casting or even blame Eddie Murphy like most people do today. But I will question how a man who literally worked on some of Disney’s highly profiled animated films, failed at directing a live action Disney film. The cast includes Eddie Murphy (Jim Evers), Terence Stamp (Ramsley), Nathaniel Parker (Master Edward Gracey), Marsha Thomason (Sara Evers), Jennifer Tilly (Madame Leota), Wallace Shawn (Ezra), Dina Spybey (Emma), Marc John Jefferies (Michael Evers), Aree Davis (Megan Evers) and The Dapper Dans (Singing Busts). Now in my opinion I don’t think everyone in the cast were terrible picks, but most of their acting felt flat and in most cases *cough* Eddie Murphy *cough* whose acting felt very over the top or overacting. Now while the performances felt like a rollercoaster ride, I do have a couple of good things to say about the film. The musical scores for the film or the music in general was amazing as I thought the music composers did a great job at bringing the musical score from the ride to life in this live action film. I also was a huge fan of the makeup from Rick Baker in the scene with the zombies in the mausoleum. While I wasn’t a huge fan of the scene in general and I will get into detail with it later on, I do love the makeup work from the legendary Rick Baker. Also I loved how they brought the ghosts to life as well in the film although I wasn’t a huge fun of all of it as the CGI could have been a bit better.
I want to do something different for this review as I want to begin this review with talking about the story itself as I am not a huge fan of the storyboard of this film. We begin our movie with being introduced to Jim Evers, a successful real estate agent who is a workaholic. He and his wife are partners but his wife is upset with him because he always is late for family gatherings because he is working so much. First off this seems pretty cliché in most family films as most of the time the plot centers around our main character who is constantly missing family gatherings and feels bad about it so he or she tries to make it up by either creating an idea for a trip or making up his past mistakes by doing something that later becomes a bigger mess. Disney decided to add this movie cliché into a film based off their most popular ride and in the end it really wasn’t needed. But let’s continue this story shall we. Jim Evers decides to have a family weekend trip and go to the lake with his family. His wife Sara gets a call from an occupant from Gracey Manor to sell the Mansion and Jim being a workaholic decides to add this future real estate opportunity into their trip which later becomes the downfall as a storm happens and they unfortunately need to stay the night inside the mansion. Now I will bring this up again about how cliché this film feels as once the main character tries to make up everything they have done and do something fun with the people they hurt, they then create this problem that will be heading their way and the problem later becomes a reality. The film itself is centered on this family and how they don’t really bond well together anymore because of the father being a workaholic but it should had been centered on the story of the ride it’s loosely based off of. The concept of the ride is simple; you are visiting a mansion that holds 999 friendly ghosts inside. But inside this ride there is a hidden story behind it and it was kind of used in this film but vaguely. A character in the ride is a woman who is wearing a wedding dress. It is said that the woman died before her wedding and longs to find a husband. The bride does make an appearance in the film but the concept has nothing to do with the ride and more it uses the what would had been the husband to be, Master Gracey, as the man who lost his wife from a party and is now stuck in the mansion with his former guests and the people who worked for him in the mansion. Now there are darker tones in this film that adds into the story like Master Gracey hanging himself after the death of his soon to be wife or the fact that the real reason why Sara Evers was called was because she looks exactly like Gracey’s deceased wife to be. That part of the story is what we should have been centered on since it works with the concept/story of the ride but instead we are in this story of a father who looks to make things right with his family, you know something we see in every other family comedy film.
Another thing that bothered me is how this film felt nothing like the ride with exception from its use of moments/characters of the ride but even then it’s done poorly to a certain extent. The original idea of the ride was to make it scary as Disney Imagineer Claude Coats wanted to make the ride creepy and unsettling while his partner for creating the ride Marc Davis wanted to make the ride friendly and humorous. So both got to put their ideas for the ride and the ride is both creepy but with a family friendly tone. The same can’t be said here for the film as the film is straight up a family comedy film made to watch during Halloween season. The film doesn’t have that feeling that we are watching a movie based off of the legendary Disney ride. Instead it feels like we are watching a haunted mansion film with the whole “Disney’s original ride The Haunted Mansion” dabbed into the film’s foundation. Like adding in the famous ballroom scene, the hitchhiking ghosts, the sort of story of the ride, one of the Imaginner’s (Yale Gracey) last name as one of the main characters and of course Madame Leota into the film kind of is pointless when the entire film uses the Evers family plot of the dad being never around for his wife and kids and causing them to pretty much be at this mansion as the main plot. The actual story that should had been the center point is the fact that Jim Evers wife looks exactly like Master Gracey’s dead wife to be and that’s not saying that the film doesn’t make it the centerpiece later on as it does but the whole filler scenes to get to that point is kind of underwhelming and hurts the film in a huge way. As for the Haunted Mansion ride’s moments and characters being used in the film well they weren’t used properly. First off Jennifer Tilly as Madame Leota is a terrible casting choice as her voice is no way spooky and unsettling like how the character is on the ride itself. Plus she was mostly used for one liners and comedic effect and even then it failed miserably. Then you have the hitchhiking ghosts and they are pretty big/loveable characters on the ride. They barely make an appearance in the film. They look pretty cool and just like the original characters but I feel like they should have had been used a lot better instead of 30 seconds in the film just for a couple of lines and that’s it. The ballroom scene was barely used as well even though it was pretty much shown multiple times, it didn’t have that Haunted Mansion soul added into the mix. Finally there is the bride. The bride in the Haunted Mansion is a hidden centerpiece of the ride and it’s kind of like that in this film as well, however we pretty much don’t know that until halfway through the film. Instead we are watching Eddie Murphy make an ass of himself. Like if this was a movie based off the original ride and they were going to use elements of the ride properly then where was the Ghost Host, the stretching room or hell have a huge Easter egg for the all time Disneyland lovers and have the Hatbox Ghost have a cameo in the film. Everything in this film related to the original ride feels downgraded and sloppy. Hell even the singing busts felt downgraded as they felt very annoying. This isn’t even the worst part as pretty much the only thing scary about this movie was the zombie scene.
I mentioned earlier how I wasn’t a huge fan of this scene even though I loved Rick Baker’s work with the makeup and before mentioning how it’s the only thing scary about the film, the reason why I’m not a huge fan of this scene is because it literally feels out of place with the entire movie. I actually think the scene is pretty good and it’s the real reason why this film kind of terrified me as a kid. The horror elements of the zombies coming to life are horrifying for a film for kids and families, especially when it’s targeted demographic is 7-12. But here’s the problem with this scene and I feel like I’m not the only one who will notice it but doesn’t it feel like this scene was added in just for filler and because the director realized there nothing scary about a film called “The Haunted Mansion”. Hell the scene takes place near the mansion but like a far distance so it doesn’t even feel like it’s a part of the film. If you were to see this scene randomly and not know anything going on before or after this scene and you saw zombies coming to life and Eddie Murphy would you really think you were watching a film based off of a classic Disneyland/World attraction. Survey says….Nope. Like I get the scene takes place near the Mansion’s graveyard but you couldn’t tell with it being pretty much hidden the entire time of the film. I guess that might be the point as the filmmakers wouldn’t want us to know about it but I mean watching this horrific scene compared to Eddie Murphy making one liners with Ramsley, yeah I wouldn’t be the only one thinking we were watching two different films. I don’t know maybe I am over thinking this but I mean I do have a huge point as this scene defiantly has the horror elements that the ride does have and before and after this scene there isn’t any horror elements added to any scenes of the film, with exception to the introduction of Ramsley. But that’s why I’m not a huge fan of this scene as while I do like the scene in general and find it pretty unsettling for a family movie, I also find it out of place from this entire motion picture and wish it was either not added into the film or edited differently so it can feel like it belongs in the film. It doesn’t really add much to the story of the film as well other than I guess the son being brave in the end so I guess his character arc is completed but after that it was just a scene for them to get a key for a chest but you could have done anything else for that. This scene, as I said before, felt more like a filler scene added in last minute because there was no horror elements added into the film and well it would make Rick Baker more money in the end.
Honestly while I may be taking a big dump on this movie, there is one thing I really liked about the film. Terence Stamp as Ramsley might be the most perfect choice for this entire movie. He really gave it his all in this film and I feel like he wasn’t even trying. His villain could had been one of the all time great Disney villains ever had this film not take him down to the bottom of the lake; a lake where all the forgotten great things in bad Disney films go. Ramsley in this film looks like a straight up villain and he honestly looks like a character come to life from the original Disney ride. He is very menacing, has a creepy tone in his voice and honestly he reminds me of Hunchback of North Dame’s Claude Frollo as both characters look and act in a menacing way and especially in the finale of the film, oh boy huge Frollo vibes. But there is one unfortunate detail about this character that kind of downgrades him and that is his reasoning of killing Master Gracey’s bride. So the reason why he killed the bride was because he didn’t want Master Gracey to abandon his heritage as he believed the relationship is unacceptable. Now while talking about this I must say the bride in the film was black and I guess that makes Ramsley racist???? I mean if your intentions was to kill the bride because she was black then automatically that’s fucked up, especially for a family friendly Disney movie. But the film doesn’t acknowledge it at all because it is a family friendly movie so instead they said that he killed her because the Master wouldn’t listen to reason and was willing to throw everything away for love. Ramsley is as you can see a closet racist and has been hiding it for many many years and once again Disney hid that by saying he killed her because the Master was blinded by love….*face palm to the face*. Oh well at least we have it written in this review that Ramsley could had been one of the greatest Disney villains ever, thanks a lot Haunted Mansion writers.
I’m not going to lie but even though I enjoyed this movie as a kid and still do today, I still think it’s a very bad film. But it’s even sadder when Disney 18 year’s later makes a Muppets special that is centered on the Haunted Mansion and does it a million times better. I guess we have time for a mini review right. Muppets Haunted Mansion is what 2003’s The Haunted Mansion should have been. It had the soul of the ride and was able to be both funny and creepy. They included everything from the ride too including the singing busts, a better version of Madame Leota (Miss Piggy over Jennifer Tilly), it had the stretching room and hell it included Fozzie Bear as the Hatbox Ghost. Everything about this special was perfect, with exception of Kermit the Frog’s voice but that’s not important. What is important is Disney and Jim Henson’s company made a better version of the Haunted Mansion in 40 minutes than an 85 minute long feature film. But is also been announced that Disney is working on creating a new Haunted Mansion film. Not much news about the film has come out other than the fact that it is supposed to include Tiffany Haddish, Lakeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson and Owen Wilson. The film will be about a single mom and her son purchasing the estate for the Mansion and she looks to hire a tour guide, a psychic, a priest and a historian to help exorcise the ghosts. I guess Disney can try and make a better Haunted Mansion film but just don’t include Eddie Murphy I guess.
In the end I feel like 2003’s The Haunted Mansion was a failure for Disney. Yes the film did well in the box office but critically it was a failure and the worst part about it was that it kind of ended a period of time where Disney would make films based on their rides/attractions. That was until 2015 when Tomorrowlalnd came out into theaters and became another failure for Disney. 6 years later we got a Jungle Cruise movie and it did pretty well in a pandemic ridden world. But Haunted Mansion undoubtedly is the worst Disney attraction movie adaptation ever. I would be damned to forget about talking about this but this movie was supposed to get a reboot back in the early 2010’s and would had been created by Oscar winning Director Guillermo Del Toro and it would had included the Hatbox Ghost as one of the main characters and it was intended to be PG-13. All of that was then thrown off the drawing table and Del Toro instead created his own haunted mansion type of film called Crimson Peak and any talks of a new Haunted Mansion reboot at the time were on pause or up in the air. As I said before a new film is being announced by Disney to reboot the film but if you ask me I don’t think it’s needed. 2003’s The Haunted Mansion did enough damage to a beloved ride and the film on paper seems like a decent film but in actuality it’s a pile of poop. Disney failed to make a decent Haunted Mansion adaptation and it’s even sadder when they have one of the funniest people in the world as your lead, a great actor of Terence Stamp as your villain, the director of your greatest film ever as your main director and somehow Disney failed to put out a simple film about one of their most beloved rides, a film that could had showed the beginnings of the Haunted Mansion and how it became known as the Haunted Mansion. It could have been both scary and funny and with a good script, cast and director maybe it would had been a decent film adaption. But instead we are left with this horrible attempt of a film that yes while I still enjoy it and will watch it still to this day I can see the failure of this film and see how terrible it is with it not having any character development for most of its characters, a big middle finger to the classic Disney ride, a basic family comedy plot that at this point has been thrown into the ringer like Eddie Murphy’s career in the 2000’s and even today, a villain that should had been properly used 100 percent and a film in general that was only created for either more money for Disney or because there animation department were too busy creating two shitty animated films at the time that they thought fuck it lets make another live action movie that will just be a cash grab and no care will be put into the film other than the make-up department/Rick Baker. Good job Disney.
Final Review: 1.4 out of 5 Stars, 32 out of 100
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