Heartbreaker

I didn't know if I was going to post this song but a memory came up on my phone/snapchat from two years ago and it needed to be posted. Two years ago something pretty big at the time happened to me and since then life has changed and I have expressed this feeling in multiple songs but this one was never released. But I decided to post it so I could keep moving forward.

She told me I was her only one, yeah

She told me I was the one she loved, yeah

And I begin to think it was just me who went to shame

But all I can do is just be the one to blame

And every night my mind plays these games with me

Wishing I was jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge

I wish I would do drugs and drink all day, yeah

So I could drug myself up and drink away the pain, yeah

Fucking cut me up and throw me out

Now my life feels better but I still feel broken now, yeah

I become torn apart

Thinking of this big loss

And when I give up I become a certain way

Shots about to be fired, day after day

My heart is broken, but it can be fixed

Become a heartbreaker and fight off the sin

Time after time the world might go insane

I'll be here drowning in my pain

Break me apart and take me away

Never wanted to feel like this way again

I just want take my time with this other girl

But my mind keeps thinking of my past mistake

She got me fucked up mentally

Now I'm staying up late waiting for the next day

Can we learn to forget without feeling so much pain

Is it too late to accept the harsh truth of my own reality

I can forgive but not forget what happened

We could have been perfection but we're now fighting hate

Let this other girl I care for watch the mistake you left

The destruction of your ways created this heartbreak

I become torn apart Thinking of this big loss And when I give up I become a certain way Shots about to be fired, day after day My heart is broken, but it can be fixed Become a heartbreaker and fight off the sin Time after time the world might go insane I'll be here drowning in my pain Break me apart and take me away They tried to warn me They tried to warn me I kept on pushing it to the side And look where it got me I should had listened I should have just listened I kept brushing it And look where it fucking got me Days keep going and they keep on going Keep moving forward but the pain keeps flowing Nights keep ending and the next day is coming Keep moving forward but the pain keeps showing The scars remain and their showing on my face Every fucking day my mental health is slowly going The heartbeat is slowly beating and eventually stopping My scars will remain and the thoughts in my brain keep growing These mental breakdowns are only the beginning Don't want my last words to be goodbye to the ones that I love I'm falling apart and I wish I was joking I become torn apart Thinking of this big loss And when I give up I become a certain way Shots about to be fired, day after day My heart is broken, but it can be fixed Become a heartbreaker and fight off the sin Time after time the world might go insane I'll be here drowning in my pain Break me apart and take me away