I wrote this song during a dark time and I have been wanting to share it but didn't know how. This song represents how people react to certain things when they are in a dark place. If you know someone who is struggling mentally, do more than message or call them. Go see them and help them find hope again. Guide them to a better path than what they are on right now.
My Last Breath
I wanna know what its like to feel alive
So I could know how everyone can strive
To better things, a happy life
Cause I never know what that is like
To feel happy now and happy then
To feel more than just a piece of shit
To not have to feel like I'm about to die
All I ever want is You and I
To not have to fucking cry
Not have to fucking try
And not figure out fucking why
This fight we have with our life
Can possibly be the last thing tonight
We ever do with the remaining time we have
So just keep fighting. Hold me tight
I just want to make this fucking right
I need to know before this is it
I can feel my life flashing between my eyes
Please keep fighting with me
Until my last breath
Take me to the path of righteousness
I'm pretty sure I've sent you my wish list
One love for eternity. One heart to set me free
Show me what you did for me
Tell me what I'm supposed to be
Even if I can't be that person you want me to be
I'm still the man you love you see
I'm struggling, I'm hurting
Your fighting, your crawling to me
Please take me to a better place
Please get me through this fucking battle
Cause all I'm seeing is my hell
The fires that hurt me and burn me on the inside
The devil, I see him in the distance
He ready to take my soul
Don't let me burn up and go through all this alone
Don't let me fall down when I should be getting up
I do it on my own but I'm giving up
I lost, I'm finished, my whole world is about to diminish
I'm about to be just dust floating in the breeze
I'm about to give up pull the trigger and fall to me knees
I want to know what its like to feel free
So I could not have to worry about hate and all the debris
Hitting me, hurting me, making me fall down
Torturing me, stabbing me, making me feel like I'm about to drown
In a pool of hate and despair
I'm ready to wear it on my skin
And it'll read fuck you kid
You should have been better
Here I'll read you this letter
It was written to you from you and by you
It says how you wanted to die and say goodbye
Put all the ones you love in a corner
Man that feels like a bummer
But where were they when you needed them most
Where were they when you tragically lost hope
Where were they when you gave them everything and got nothing back in return
Where were they when you held your last breath
I'm tired of seeing lies and goodbyes in my text messages
I'm tired of being me and I'm tired of being the reason why I am the way I am
It's my fault I'm like this
But no one tried to actually help me
No one, none of you tried to help me
You just wrote sorry, things will get better
When...when will they fucking get better
I'm doing everything I can to feel like I'm on cloud nine and not feeling like I'm about to give up and die
I'm suffering out here and all you can say is sorry, feel better
Sorry ain't going to fix what I did to my fucking self
Bout to fucking let the demons run around in my mind and puppet my life
Maybe I need to grow up but I've been growing up all my fucking life with this mental disorder
With my health getting worse mentally and my heart constantly breaking
Fuck being heart broken, I'm just broken
I'm the nigga who tried to be something I could never be so I fucking struck out again and let the demons win
I fucking got myself stuck in this life and I'm going to be the one to take myself out
Here goes nothing
*gunshot the mouth
I wake up and all I see is light flashing outside
I'm in the ambulance heading to the hospital
I even failed a fucking suicide
I cant even kill myself cause the devil wants me to suffer
He wants to torture me till I'm old and rust
Man it's a good thing I had all of you I could trust
Oh wait, that's right, things will get better
Sorry, but hey everything will soon be better
Stay positive and be strong
Fuck all that shit I'm tired of waiting for soon, it's taking too long
I got blood on my hands and a hole in my face
Look at me people, look at this fucking face
I'm a fucking failure to this world and worst a fucking disgrace
Superman can't save me, neither can you, you or even fucking you
None of you can save me
I'm fucking gone
I got a chance to be something and let it fly by and go away
Cause I'm too fucking broken to realize I could had been a better guy
Could had chosen to stay optimistic but I followed the wrong path
Now look at me, I'm a laughing stock
I'm a joke, I'm a clown who stronger than a King but defeated by an Ace
I'm the joke of the town
I'm the villain of my life story
There goes the hero I wish I could had been
Floating away into the rivers of my everything
I'm alone now and I can feel my life crumbling
I want to know what its like to feel someone to love
So I could feel my heart grow three sizes bigger
I cant fight this battle anymore cause my heart is not feeling strong
I can feel my soul leaving me
I can feel my body dying less peacefully
Most of all I can feel my heart dying
I can hear it crying
I fought a hard battle but I lost in the end
The machines even are saying its time to pull the plug
Say your goodbyes and give yourself one last hug
My last breath has left and it's over now...
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