2024, what a weird year it was for film. I'm not going to lie, after doing these lists for 4 years now you start to wonder if I am actually watching these movies for just the lists or if I actually wasted certain amounts of time watching these films. And for that I'd say 2024 had some of those times where yes I watched films and they ended up being bad and I watched films knowing they were bad and had to see for myself. I didn't see every film this year and when it came to this worst list I pretty much gave up after December. There were some I was going to watch just because I knew the list had ten I wanted to see if a few others can knock some out of the running and at that point I said I'm dumb to even put myself through that pain. Now I will say this I actually think this year for film was pretty promising but then we had these films that were either cash bait films for streaming services, sequels/reboots we never asked for that we knew would fail the moment they were announced and then you have the huge cast films that definitely wouldn't fail. Clearly my sarcasm isn't going through these lines so that last comment was clearly towards one certain film. 2024 had some duds but then they had these 10 films. Now of course this is my opinion so if you don't agree with my list then that is fine, but just know I will agree with you because I know what's bad from good and after 4 years of doing this I can say I know what's worth my money in the theater to yeah I'll watch it at home for free on my laptop. A couple of these films slipped through the cracks from theater viewings so yeah we have that too. Anyway let's get through another year of terrible films and countdown my Top 10 Worst Films of 2024.
10. Trap - M. Night Shyamalan presents another bad film with a decent plot but a terrible script and acting. The plot of this film was very interesting as the films is centered around a serial killer attending a concert with his daughter and needing to find a way out as the entire concert venue is barricaded with cops. No one knows he's the killer so this adds a depth of thrill and intense moments as will our antagonist get away or will he get caught. But this is then ruined as the entire film centered around this plot is just awful. The writing is atrocious and the acting, specifically Shyamalan's daughter, is rough and lacking any general fear. Yes this film is not a full on horror but make me feel like we're in a psychological thriller. I also think the pacing in this film was back and forth as some moments felt too quick, specifically the first 30 minutes, but then there is the ending which feels like it's dragging. I don't know on paper this film seems like a hit but the film in general lacks anything to make it seen like it's worth my time to not just watch but recommend. Like this movie just seems one dimensional as you can clearly figure out this entire film 20 minutes in and at that point is there a reason to watch the film.
9. Mean Girls - So I'm not a fan on the original Mean Girls film and back when it was made into a Broadway musical I didn't care about it but many people did and then studio executives decided let's turn the musical into a feature film. So I thought hey why not give it a try and it was not good. Now this is the part where all of the Mean Girls fans will come in and jump me. To that I will say this: name one moment in the film that is memorable other than Renee Rapp. That's the only argument I need. The camera work in this film is really frustrating as there are moments where the angles feel too off to the side to completely zooming into our main girl's entire face during her musical scene. Why? Who knows really. Also I didn't like moat of musical moments in this film. The songs felt very basic or lacked the Broadway vibe to it. Again Renee Rapp was the best part of this film and no its not because the studio sexualized her and showed off her cleavage in some scenes to make the film seem interesting to a certain demographic, but it was actually her acting and singing that made her memorable. She made Regina George her own and killed but the problem is everything centered around her killed this film completely. Again I didn't like the original film so that didn't help it's cause here but I kind of dislike this film 10 times more. I'm also pretty sure this film was simply made because money was thrown towards Tina Fey and she pretty much said fuck it I'm going to get paid a bag and a half of cash so I can care less in the end. Finally this film is very forgettable as I don't think people remembered it came out because the film was given the January release date slot and we all should know what happens to those films that came out in that month. They become forgotten or are just bad.
8. Dear Santa - This was not a good year for Jack Black films as Kung Fu Panda 4 was mid, another film on this list which we will get too later on was lackluster and then there was this film. Dear Santa is a Christmas movie from Paramount Plus that is about a young boy who writes a letter to Santa but by accident he writes it to Satan. Now this is one of those films that on paper could be an enjoyable movie, but if it was written back in the 90s. Oh my God this film was just very cringe. It was entertaining in some scenes and had me actually cracking up a bit but man did this film just feel like it was out together by junior high students for a school project. I mean come on can we even attempt to make the writing decent here because other than a couple of adult jokes this film's writing is so terrible. I've written better things for my Tik Tok videos and 99 percent of the time it's just me adlibbing the entire time. Jack Black isn't the worst part about the film but he also isn't the best part either. He played Satan well again it's the writing that kind of ruined the film so it just became a joke most of the time. I honestly would had rather seen him play Santa in a Disney Channel film because at least the film would be somewhat more enjoyable. The worst part of the film has to be the kid characters because my god these kids seem like they are trying way too hard. I still blame the writing on this part but I don't know because a couple of these kids seem like they need more lessons. And the film even made Post Malone feel cringe, how is that even possible because he's legit a great guy and such a great performer. I also find it crazy that they have this very dark side plot as the parents are having issues after the death of their 2nd son so I feel like this entire plot is so not needed. Anyway this movie is bad and should just be left in the dumpster.
7. Mother of the Bride - I honestly didn't want to include or watch any Netflix films this year as every time I do these lists I feel like I have 3 or 4 Netflix films on these lists so I decided to just pick one out of the bunch of bad films they put out and Mother of the Bride was chosen. I could had picked Time Cut because it's literally just Amazon's Totally Killer but ten times worse but I decided to go with the wanna be version of Father of the Bride but for mothers. Not only was there no chemistry between all of the actors but I feel like any sort of comedy or romance that was in this film was just left in the side of the road as this film felt like AI wrote and filmed this movie. The cast includes Miranda Cosgrove, Brooke Shields, Benjamin Bratt and Chad Michael Murray and these B star actors couldn't even make this Netflix film feel like a Netflix film because it feels more like a 99 cent store Hallmark channel film. Oh yeah it's that bad. Now look I wanted to give this movie a chance but from the plot being so dull and the story being so basic and knowing what turns this film was going, I basically called every moment that happened in this film and it honestly made me question what exactly was this movie supposed to do that would make it any different than films that basically share a similar aimless story and a basic romantic comedy plot about a child getting married and having a on and off issues with their significant parent. We've seen these movies before and they won't be going anywhere anytime soon but at least they try to be different and not one dimensional, unlike this film which was one dimensional. I think I was entertained for about 3 minutes in this movie so at least it got my attention for 1.9 percent of the film.
6. Argylle - I saw this movie in theaters and in IMAX. I also didn't know this would had been bad because you have the director of Kingsman making this movie and I also never saw Kingsman but I have heard great things and if this is what Kingsman is like then I want to apologize because this movie was disappointing and garbage. There were some ok action scenes but I figured out this film 30 minutes in and kept seeing every plot twist a mile away. Oh my God you can cut bread better than creating this 2 hour long film because fuck it drags on way too long and feels like it would had done honestly better as a limited series. The cast all feel like they are phoning it in because they are getting paid but the writing; man the writing could had been done better in this one. Is it me or did this film feel like it copied multiple other action film scenes and just added in a little of this and that like we wouldn't notice. The plane scene felt like a bond movie, the scene where we find out her parents are bad felt like a Austin Powers plot twist when we find out that Dr. Evil and Austin Powers are related and I know I never saw Kingsman but I'm pretty sure multiple action scenes tried to copy Kingsman as Matthew Vaughn made both and thought we wouldn't notice. This whole film was just sad to watch and my movie experience was pretty trash too as everyone was taking in the theater and I was just not into the film like I thought I was. I was kind of ready to talk out but I wanted to know how it ended and then it ended and I literally said "Thank God". I want my money back because this film was a headache and then some. Watching paint dry would had been a better watch than this terrible film.
5. Borderlands - I have been nice, somewhat, to these movies but now the hammer goes down. Jack Black, welcome back to the frame as once again we get to talk about another bad movie you were in and you weren't even the worse part about it. Borderlands the video game should never have been made into a movie, maybe a series, but definitely not a movie. I've never played the games, I know nothing about the game other than the character Krieg because he was in Fortnite but other than him I know nothing about the game and now that I saw this film for the game I don't want to ever know nothing about the game because this shit film ruined it for me. How do you fuck up a video game adapted film that bad? I mean it's an Eli Roth movie for fucks sake and yeah his track record isn't the best but at least he can somewhat make a movie. But that the actual fuck is this shit? Kevin Hart was best thing about the movie and that's not saying much because his track record lately has been terrible. Cate Blanchett and recently award winning actress Jamie Lee Curtis couldn't make this movie better and they felt like they phoned it in. Jack Black was so annoying in this movie and I don't think it's fully his fault. It was clearly the script but also let's get away from the cast and talk about the cinematography and setting. It was awful. The CGI looked terrible and the camera work could had been done better on a Samsung phone. Also shoutout to my Samsung phone users who have shitty cameras but somehow make that shit work, your the real MVP's and could probably make this film look better. I mean this film was doomed from the start after Covid happened and the multiple re-shoots and let's not forget that this film brought in Tim Miller, Deadpool's director, to do said re-shoots because Roth had other commitments and even his two weeks of being the director didn't help. My god somebody call in an ambulance I think he is dying because this film was dead on arrival. It bombed for a reason because nobody fucking cared about it or wanted to see it. It lost Lionsgate $110 to $120 million dollars. I want my 2 hours back that I used at home to watch this shit stain of a movie.
4. Joker Folie A Deux - I have waited so long to finally talk about this movie because when they first announced Joker was getting a sequel I was like let's see what happens and then it was said to be a musical and then I said these exact words....Fuck my life. I loved Joker (2019) as it is one of my favorite films of all time but this almost ruined it for me entirely. I don't know who to blame right now. Do we blame Todd Phillips? Do we blame Warner Bros. ? How about DC? Can't blame Joaquin Phoniex because he didn't want to ever make a sequel and yet here we are. I feel like this sequel would had worked had Todd Phillips had full control but again Joker shouldn't have gotten a sequel as it was never needed. The cinematography in this film is really amazing and Phoenix's performance again was incredible but then there was the pacing of the film and how much it dragged and the musical aspects, that shit was annoying as fuck. Why did this movie need to have musical scenes; like who did Todd Phillips piss off for this to happen. All the songs in this film were not good and just didn't work for me. I also don't know if they are original songs or covers but still I don't care because they ruined the movie for me completely. But that isn't the worse thing; Spoiler Warning Ahead. The last 30 minutes of Joker: Folie A Duex pretty much destroys everything from the original film as Arthur says he isn't Joker and it all goes downhill from here as shit just begins to happen during his trial and the last final minutes of the movie some random Arkham prisoner attacks Arthur and begins to start laughing and cuts his face by making a smile on himself. So your telling me this was just a Heath Ledger's Joker introduction film or was Todd Phillips just high on sniffing glue and said fuck it let's put the Dark Knight Joker in here because it's not like I worked so hard back in 2019 to make a different version of Joker that feels real and different. This movie was such a disappointment and waste of time and once again it was never needed. I left the theater and yes I said I left the theater as I saw this in theater, but I left the theater in anger. I hated this movie. I don't think it's a trash film but it definitely isn't a good film. Fuck this movie.
3. Tarot - As I was making this list I forgot I even saw this movie this year and I also forgot that this movie even existed because it was just so bad. Everything about this movie was trash. The horror was not here at all. I was never scared, every scene in the film where "scary" was supposed to be there was not there. I did not care about any character in this movie as each time one character died I literally didn't care and kept moving on with my day. Every actor in this movie were terrible. Hell even Ned from the MCU Spider-Man movies couldn't save this movie and he was terrible in it too. There isn't much to say about this movie because nothing happened in it that made me even care. This is a forgettable movie that I had to rewatch some scenes on YouTube to remember how bad it was and how forgettable it was. Out of a year where horror was incredible, Tarot was the long lost cousin you never want to talk about because they are just terrible and ruin everything. Thanks for being that weir cousin Tarot, you will not be missed.
Okay now we are at the point where 2 and 1 are chosen but honestly guys I couldn't decide which movie was worse as both are just terrible and these two films are pretty obvious as they will be on everyone's list, probably at 2 and 1. So for the first time ever we have a two way tie for the number one spot. You can switch them both in the ranking and they still will be equally terrible cancerous films. Anyway let's talk about them.
1. The Crow - No one asked to make this movie. No one wanted to see this movie. In fact anyone that went out to see this movie needs to get their brains checked because they might have lost some brain cells. The Crow had no real plot in my eyes. It was just many actors doing something to make it look like a movie. Both lead actors, I can't even say they were terrible because there were worst things that happened in this movie. The whole script was terrible. The whole setting and cinematography was terrible. The lighting just felt off in my eyes in many scenes. Bill Skardgard shouldn't be talked bad about because the man has talent but even he couldn't save this cancer. FKA Twigs, never act again because it was terrible. Tommy Wiseau from The Room was a better performance and acted better than Twigs in this movie. Makes you wonder if he would had made a better The Crow film. There was nothing in this movie that was even good. There was nothing in those 111 minutes that made me say hey that was cool because this movie wasn't cool nor was it even fun. I could watch two homeless people fight on the train and be more entertained somehow within those few minutes. That's how unentertaining this movie was. Rupert Sanders was the director of this massacre of a film and his track record is 0 for 2 prior to this as Snow White and the Huntsman was terrible and Ghost in the Shell in laughable. Never direct a movie again. The Screenplay was written by the same guy who just recently was nominated for Best Screenplay at the Oscar's....never ever nominate him again. The worst part of it all is It almost ruined the legacy of the original movie. I love The Crow with Brandon Lee. I think it's one of the most beloved films ever. So why do we keep trying to ruin its legacy. Hollywood, please stop. Either stop making Crow movies or eat a bag of dicks because if this is the end product we are getting then take me out of my misery already and let me become the Crow.
1. Madame Web - The movie that everyone will probably have at first, which isn't shocking cause it was terrible before it even arrived in theaters. It was terrible before the trailers came out. The Spiderman universe under Sony continues to be a giant asshole because all of it is ass. Venom and Kraven both came out this year too and they were ass but they were at least watchable. I watched all 116 minutes of Madame Web and wanted to kill myself. I hate multiple other movies more than this one but boy is this a contender as the worst movie of all time. The acting was laughable. The script was written by a three year old kangaroo. The pacing was all over the place. The villain was shit to the point where I thought it was emo Spider-man. The cinematography and CGI in this movie was garbage. You had a 100 million dollar budget and this movie looks and feels like a school project. I never liked Dakota Johnson because I think she's a terrible actor and this movie continues to prove my point. Name a great performance from her to change my mind because everything she has done is either forgettable or laughable. Sydney Sweeny was added in here because of her looks. She's a great actor but not in this movie. Oh and let's not forget we have Emma Roberts and Adam Scott playing Peter Parker's parents so I guess that something we needed so Spider-man can be somehow added in this horse shit movie. I watched this movie on my laptop and was trying to fight for my life because I was ready to stab my eyes out. You could put on Two Girls, One Cup and I would say thay shit was better than this shit and I'll say it; Two Girls One Cup had better acting than Madame Web and it's just two girls kissing and eating eachother's shit. This was a painful watch and yes I didn't have to watch it but this was one of those times I watched the movie because everyone was talking so much shit about it so I knew automatically it was bad before viewing it so this was a watch for fun moment. Madame Web welcome to the shelf of terrible movies I loath and will shit on forever. Mulan (2020) needed a new friend and she found one. Fuck everything about this movie and fuck whomever made it. S.J Clarkson, fuck you. No Honorable Mentions this year as they weren't terrible film but just mid films at best! But if i had to pick a couple they would be Netlix's Time Cut, Venom: The Last Dance and Amazon's Road House.
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