Disney has created some of the most amazing attractions and shows in the world for over 70 years and they always somehow bring a smile to a child or an adult’s face with bringing the magic to life in front of our eyes with each thing they create. But not everything Disney creates is perfect or in this case good. They have had some weird and terrible attractions and shows created for the parks. Now I have been dreading this moment for a long time but it is time to create the most hateful thing ever towards Disney and talk about, in my opinion of course, their worst rides/shows/attractions of all time. I have watched many videos of this topic, researched so much on these attractions and believe me there were a lot to pick from but this is my list as well so I will be including a couple of attractions and rides that some people might like. I’m going to get a lot of hate for this but if former Disney CEO Michael Eisner can take the heat I think I can too. Oh and don’t worry Michael Eisner will be mentioned a lot in this list so get use to that name. Now Disney has made a lot of mistakes in the past including closing great attractions for shitty ones and changing up a current ride and making it worse. Now like I said before this is my opinion so please don’t come at my throat too hard as I will be brutal to many of these attractions. Comment below which ride/attraction/show you think is the worst and let’s get this list going with the top 10 Worst Disney Rides/Shows/Attractions of all time.
Top 10 Worst Disney Rides/Shows /Attractions of All Time
10. It’s a Small World – I’m going to start off with a very controversial and fan favorite ride but I really don’t like It’s A Small World. To this day I never understand why families want to ride a ride with these creepy looking animatronics starring at you and singing the same song over and over again. The ride has a huge fan base but I have seen many people say online and even in person that the ride itself is pretty meh. Now it’s not a terrible ride but I have seen way better at Disney World. I will give Disneyland credit for changing up the ride a bit with putting in Disney and Pixar characters into the ride and I believe Hong Kong and Tokyo did the same thing but to this day Disney World’s version of the ride is the same as the original ride since it first debuted in Disneyland. Maybe it’s my hatred for this ride that puts it on this list but I’m being 100% honest with you I have seen people sleeping on the ride, which I guess means the ride is cozy and comfortable with no heat hitting your body and just cool air but come on it also is because the ride is boring. Look I am going to get a lot of heat for putting this classic Disney ride on my list but at the same time it’s my list and my opinion. Plus it’s at number 10 so I gave it the benefit of the doubt and let it be at least the 10th worst meaning it’s bad but people find it enjoyable I guess. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJFGAX77zw4&t=4s
9. Primeval Whirl – Animal Kingdom’s Dinoland U.S.A might be one of the more undervalued sections of the park and if it wasn’t for Dinosaurs! then Dinoland U.S.A would be known more for holding what once was the worst ride in the park. Primeval Whirl was a wild mouse/spinning rollercoaster where rollercoaster cars spin in circles while traveling on the track. Now while the themeing and dual track layout gets a lot of great praise from the Disney guests, the ride itself is hated most guests as they see it as one of those carnival rides or just your average ride made only for kids. The biggest concern from guests is the extreme turns this ride has that makes it feel very jerky. The ride would constantly stop abruptly and that would cause the head and body to snap back and forth against the restraints. When going on a Disney ride or any ride for that matter you would want to feel safe and not feel like you are about to go see a chiropractor right after you ride the ride. In 2019 the ride would be reduced to seasonal operation, which if you were a long time Disney guest and park fan you know that usually means it’s a future ride/attraction to be closed and in 2020 it was announced that the ride would not re-open during the re-opening of Disney World. Just like the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, Primeval Whirl became extinct. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8KiocCRYoY
8. Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management – Walt Disney created one of the most iconic attractions in Disney parks history with The Enchanted Tiki Room as it made its debut in 1963 in Disneyland and then when Disney World opened it was an opening day attraction. Then Disney decided to close the Disney World attraction in 1997 for renovations and updates and they over did the whole updating. When the attraction opened up it was Under New Management and starred some famous animated Disney birds. No not Donald and Daisy Duck, but Aladdin’s Iago and The Lion King’s Zazu. Now while the idea is fresh and new, something Disney loves to do as they love to change things up and make it fresh and new, this was probably a great idea on paper but not in execution. The show begins how it usually does with the Tiki bird hosts starting to sing the Tiki Room song but they soon get interrupted by Iago. Iago said the songs were outdated and that he and Zazu were the new owners of the Tiki Room. Zazu insisted that Iago t to not anger the gods but Iago didn’t listen. He sings a version of Friend Like Me and then Uh-Oa The Tiki Goddess of Disaster comes out and puts Iago in his place and uses magic on him and he explodes and disappears. The birds then sing Hakuna Matata and I can’t take this anymore, stop talking about the story of the ride. Okay, Disney why the fuck did you fuck with the Tiki Gods and create this disaster? Disney guests did not like this change at all as the refurbishment received much negativity from guests and many people called it “disrespectful to a classic attraction”. While the additional animatronics were pretty sweet, most importantly the Uh-Oa animatronic, the rest of the show was pretty much bird shit, like the bird shit you don’t want to see on your car in the morning before work bird shit. The Tiki Gods must have been pissed one day, so much so that in 2011 the show building caught on fire and this version of the attraction never opened again and instead opened back a while later as the original Enchanted Tiki Room show. This attraction is said to be one of the worst refurbishments in the history of Disney World. I get Disney wanted to add there popular film birds into the show but take note that the Tokyo Disneyland refurbished the same Enchanted Tiki Room and added Stitch in the show and yet that version somehow works and is popular. Next time Disney just leave a great attraction alone and never mess with the Tiki Gods. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ltPzrNSTZw
7. Stitch’s Great Escape – I know we all have been waiting for the arrival of Michael Eisner and so here we go ladies and gentleman it is time. Back in his early years of being CEO, Michael Eisner wanted to have an Alien themed attraction in the Disney parks so he could have an attraction more for the older kids. Thankfully Disney Imaginers and George Lucas of all people told Michael Eisner the idea wouldn’t work, especially with Alien being a rated R film. However the idea of an alien themed attraction soon came to light as Alien Encounter opened in Disney World’s Tomorrowland in 1995 and it gained a pretty big fan base for the horror attraction but a lot of criticism for it being too scary. The ride closed and was given a big change as it was still an alien themed attraction but with Disney’s most popular alien Stitch. The attraction became family friendly and was about Stitch escaping the Galactic Federation and it was pretty much the same attraction as Alien Encounter but for kids. The attraction had some great audio animatronics, pretty much the same ones from Alien Encounter, but it also included a brand new Stitch animatronic that was very amazing and had impressive movements. Michael Eisner pretty much made a great attraction that got criticism for being too scary and added in Stitch to make it family friendly but that too got criticism from guests saying the ride was boring and pretty much was the same ride without the scares. Many Disney guests call this the worst ride ever in the parks and I don’t blame them. The ride sucked so much that in 2016 the ride started to open seasonally, mostly when they had large crowds. Then in 2018 Stitch’s Great Escape pretty much closed quietly and the pre show part of the building was made into a Stitch meet and greet while the ride was left abandoned. Stitch’s Great Escape on paper would of worked had it been the original ride in that area but because it was replacing a better ride it got much more criticism than the original ride. Stitch, stick to being cute and adorable and not trying to create havoc in Disney World. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlY59b85mso&t=23s
6. Discovery River Boats – I could have put this in the top 3 but this one has a story and yes it also involves Michael Eisner. When Animal Kingdom was being planned, the park was going to include animals including Dinosaurs and Mythical Creatures like Dragons and Unicorns. However due to Euro Disney being a bust and costing the Disney Company a lot of money Michael Eisner had to choose on what land will be built, a land for Dinosaurs called Dinoland U.S.A or a land for mythical creatures called Beastly Kingdom. Because Disney was also in the middle of creating a computer animated film called Dinosaurs the CEO decided to pick Dinoland U.S.A but the park still heavily put Beastly Kingdom into Animal Kingdom still with the logo showing a Dragon and there being a Dragon statue head in the entrance of Animal Kingdom. But don’t worry folks because the money that Eisner had left for the Animal Kingdom budget was used wisely as he decided to make a boat ride that would take you from the Safari village to Asia. Yes, Discovery River Boats was created and it was going to have an animatronic Dragon, Unicorn and Kraken but once again Michael Eisner wanted to continue to put the Dinosaur movie into our faces and the money for making a Dragon animatronic was used to make an Iguanodon, which later became the main character of the film. A dragon was in the ride, just not seen and was in a cave and breathed fire, figuratively of course. So what happened to this amazing ride? It closed a year after Animal Kingdom opened. The ride was a Jungle Cruise rip off that showed you nothing except trees, water, more trees, a family of trees, an animatronic dinosaur and fire coming out of a cave meant to represent a dragon. The ride got a lot of criticism to the point where they changed the ride’s name completely to Discovery River Taxi and then Radio Disney River Cruise. Did I forget to mention that Beastly Kingdom was supposed to be a part of the area where the ride took place and also in a spot where Pandora is now, caused back in 98 Camp Minnie and Mickey was added in to be a place holder for Beastly Kingdom and then they dropped that idea entirely. The boat ride that Michael Eisner went so heavily to put an animatronic Dinosaur on to advertise Disney’s next big film, which did okay in the box office in 2000 by the way, failed completely and to this day is the worst ride in Animal Kingdom’s history. It only lasted a year in the park and believe me nobody wanted it in the park, not even the Disney Imagineering team wanted it. Don’t let me take this opportunity away from you because I was lucky enough to find a video of a person filming the ride back in 1998 so enjoy all the trees in the world and enjoy one of Michael Eisner’s biggest mistakes and by the way we’re just getting started with him. Enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4VDATwwJ_o
5. Rocket Rods – In 1995 due to the future update to Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, one of the most beloved rides, the People Mover, closed permanently for a new ride to take its place in the future. In 1998 Tomorrowland got a new makeover and Rocket Rods took the place of the People Mover. As said on Wikipedia, “Rocket Rods was a high speed thrill attraction”. I never rode this ride so I can’t say how thrilling it was but I have seen enough videos and reviews for this ride to say that there is nothing thrilling about this ride. Michael Eisner, yes the greatest person ever to work for Disney, wanted to make Tomorrowland a spectacular part of the park but due to the failure of Euro Disney the park took a big hit in a way and everything new added into the park were disappointments, including Rocket Rods. The ride would constantly breakdown or have technical problems and by September 2000 the ride was permanently closed. The problem mostly with the ride was the fact that it was replacing a slow, calm, peaceful ride of the People Mover, a ride in which showed amazing views of the park including inside multiple rides like Space Mountain and Star Tours and it also showed a model of Epcot that Walt Disney created. A slow calming ride was replaced by a “thrill ride” that had no real thrill. In fact the max sped for the ride was 35 mph but the problem with that was the way the People Mover track was built made it kind of hard for a high speed thrill ride to go over 20 mph since the People Mover only went a good 12 mph or less. So each time there was a turn the ride went from 35 to 3-5 mph and back again, thus destroying the track system completely. Once the ride finally closed, the track was left abandoned and that hasn’t changed today as the only thing left of both the People Mover and Rocket Rods is the abandoned track all around Tomorrowland. Rocket Rods literally killed the structure of the track, thus killing the chance of the People mover to ever return into Disneyland. This ride is hated by the Disney community and has been called one of the biggest disasters ever created in the Disney Parks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WUbeJgYuHg
4. Up! The Great Bird Adventure – This show actually used to be called Flights of Wonder and because the parks had nothing for the Pixar film Up other than a meet and greet they decided in 2018 to add in Doug and Russell from the film to the show thus changing the name to UP! The Great Bird Adventure. So I actually never went to this show on my last vacation to Disney World in 2018 but I did see where the show was located. So I checked it out online a few months after and I’m so happy I didn’t waste my first day in Animal Kingdom to watch bids fly above my head. Remember how I said Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management was bird shit. Well this show is bird, eagle, parakeet, toucan, dodo, chicken, all type of species of bird shit. I can’t even blame Michael Eisner for this god damn it, in fact I don’t know who to blame. This show is boring if you ask me and cringe as another character added in, the Troop Leader, really is cringe with her jokes. Like I swear I never cringed so much from jokes and puns in Disney like I did for this like its bad. The worst part of it all is the fact that they put the name of one of the greatest Pixar films on this mess and it just disrespectful to the movie itself if you ask me. Like the show is so bad that they have re-written the script and show for the show and it still sucks. I mean you are in Animal Kingdom trying to show us bird species, which on its own is interesting but I mean it not the most exciting thing like monkeys or gators or lions but then you add in annoying characters and Disney characters so you can bring in an audience because everyone loves the movie UP and then you get a 30 minute long bird shit show that is boring, cringe and the best part about it is the exit to something better in Animal Kingdom like Festival of the Lion King or Expedition Everest or anything but this show. This show sucks and is probably the weakest show in all of Disney World, possibly even the Disney parks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw_f6Y3fCA0
3. Journey Into Your Imagination – Look I hate being cruel to Michael Eisner but since this happened during his time as CEO I need to unfortunately talk about him again. In 1998 Disney closed one of the most beloved rides in Epcot, Journey Into Imagination so it could have a major renovation. Why did it need it, no one knows, but Disney and the higher ups *cough* Michael Eisner *cough* thought the ride needed a huge refurbishment. One year later the ride opened and it changed completely. The new ride, Journey Into Your Imagination opened up and it was a completely different ride. Guests would take a tour of the Imagination Institute and become test subjects for the institute’s newest invention, The Imagination Scanner. You are joined by Dr. Nigel Channing, played by legendary British comedian Eric Idle, and he would test us on our imagination but also our senses. Sound and Vision were the big senses used as you would hear multiple noises and see illusions throughout the ride experience. The point of the ride was for us to obtain imagination as you enter the ride with, and I’m not even kidding when I say this, “no imagination”. The ride ends once the scanner becomes supercharged because you obtained so much imagination. This ride gained so much negativity from the guests as many called the ride disrespectful to the original ride. Guests were very upset about the two iconic characters, The Dreamfinder and Figment, not being in the ride. Although Figment does make an appearance in the queue on the screen and a little cameo in the ride, it still upset guests that the two iconic characters that pretty much made the ride special were not in it. Also the iconic Sherman Brother’s song, One Little Spark, was not a part of the ride. Now I never went on this ride so I decided to watch a video of the ride and I wanted to kill Michael Eisner and Disney a little bit. Disney I get you want to keep with Walt’s vision and keep change in the parks but you completely took the Imagination part of the ride out completely and instead butchered the ride’s legacy by destroying what once was a beautiful ride. The ride closed 2 years later due to many complaints and criticism towards the ride. While the 3rd installment of the ride, Journey Into Imagination with Figment, fixed a few missing details and problems with the ride, it still isn’t as iconic as the original ride. Though if I may add it is definitely better than that half ass piece of crap Disney tried to put into the park. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUaTu13Yv6U
2. Tomorrowland Speedway/Autopia – The ride has multiple names in the Disney parks but I don’t need to list all the names down as each ride is the same and a piece of shit. Tomorrowland Speedway is a racecar track attraction that I feel like is trying to be like Go-Karts but ends up being a piece of shit track ride that could be found in your average Amusement Parks. I would know we have one just like it in the amusement park I worked at. The funny part is mostly little kids go on the ride with their parents while the older kids go on the Go-Karts. Now I can’t say this ride is terrible for kids as this is a slow ride for them to go on to get used to certain rides and later be ready for bigger/faster rides but man is this ride uninteresting and fucking boring. I never rode this ride, I believe, and thank god I didn’t because if I could fall asleep while watching a video POV of the ride then I must be fucking taking a great cat nap while riding it. Like most Disney rides are themed to make the ride feel like you are in a certain world like Haunted Mansion theme makes you feel like you are in a haunted house or Rise of the Resistance makes you believe you are in the Star Wars movies. This fucking ride is themed as a race track and literally shows you nothing that makes you feel like a race track as there is nothing to look at or nothing to gain your interest while riding the ride. I’m totally shocked that the ride in the states are not closed or changed to a better version of the ride because these rides suck and I don’t care if it’s an iconic ride that’s been in both parks since day one, say it with me now, THE RIDE SUCKS! It’s an overrated ride that by the way has a long wait time and it literally is the worst attraction that is still open today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xiOtCo4NBE
1. Superstar Limo – I would of put Tomorrowland Speedway 1st, I really was, but it’s nothing compared to this disaster of a ride. Oh Michael Eisner it’s time for you and I to chat because we are now going to talk about the worst ride you ever help create during the worst time for Disneyland. A new park was being added into Disneyland that would center on California. The park would later be called Disney’s California Adventure as at the time the park would be themed towards the history and culture of California. CEO Michael Eisner was the frontrunner for this expansion of Disneyland and the park opened in February 2001 and it obtained so much criticism from Disney guests. The park had low attendance in its first year but that is not what this list is for, we are here to talk about the ride in California Adventure, Superstar Limo. Superstar Limo was a dark ride that garnered criticism and negativity from guests. The original concept of the ride was to be a wild ride through Hollywood as you would be trying to evade the paparazzi. However all of that changed after the death of Princess Diana after she was killed in a car crash trying to evade the paparazzi. So instead you were Hollywood’s newest celebrity and you were going to the premiere of your new movie. What followed was a puppet agent calling you through the screen of the ride vehicle, touring Hollywood with the multiple celebrities that lived there and were successful there and finally making it to the premiere with fans and paparazzi being at the premiere. I like to take a minute to thank Michael Eisner for this ride as he showed the prime example of why he should had never created this ride in the first place after the certain events that caused the original concept to be completely trashed. The attraction was cartoony and included some big celebrities, though I wouldn’t say of 2001 but more the early to mid 90’s. Some celebrities include Tim Allen, Drew Carey, Cher, Whoopi Goldberg, Jackie Chan and Regis Philbin. That’s defiantly some big celebs of Hollywood at the time, like there no way they were as big as Leonardo Dicaprio, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Jim Carrey, I can go on and on and on but these people were pretty big if you were watching sitcoms and rom-coms in the 90’s. The ride was criticized heavily with people calling it offensive, self-promoting and most of all a failure towards Disney Imagineering. The ride would close a year later and never opened again. Now Michael Eisner get’s a big blame for this horrendous ride and I don’t blame people blaming him for this because he signed off for this grotesque looking ride that looked like a child built it, designed it and organized it. I don’t mean to be harsh but a Make a Wish kid and a monkey can work together and make a better ride than what Disney and Eisner created. Like I talk shit about Tomorrowland Speedway but that ride isn’t an embarrassment to the Disney Imagineering team that helped create this unimaginative and ridiculous ride that could honestly be found in a Fair or Coney Island. Fuck it make more sense in Coney Island since half the shit in Coney is as trash as this piece of shit ride. Disney, no, Eisner you screwed up big time making this ride and there is no wonder why after the ride closed or more when you resigned that there hasn’t been a horrible ride created by Disney. Fuck your final ride you signed on and become a reality was Expedition Everest and somehow I want to blame you for Disco Yeti. Just in case your still here with me reading this love letter to former CEO Michael Eisner, this ride belongs in hell and I wish the Men in Black would use that gadget to erase people’s memories so we could never ever, ever, ever have to remember this HUMAN SHIT of a ride again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS-Ryc4p6w0
Look I don’t mean to go off so much on Michael Eisner as during his time as CEO Disney did have a lot of success to a certain extent. The Disney Renaissance era of films were during his run, Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios opened up and much more. But at the same time he created some of the worst attractions during his run so you can see why a big Disney fan like me can go off on him the way I did. I’ll finish this off like I always do with honorable mentions or in this case Dishonorable Mentions. Oh and because this is a long one I will only list them and not include videos as I think you all been through enough today.
DisHonorable Mentions:
Goofy’s Barnstormer
The Making of Me
Mad Tea Party
Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Mix Live Stage Show
Video Version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ1R5Ez1D-Q
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